1. Big companies don't do business via chain
letter. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you
a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks.
Procter and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo
is not satanic. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something
to the most people. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just
in case it's true". Furthermore, just because someone said in a message,
four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit", does not
actually make it true.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans.
No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend
swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the
kidney-theft ring stories, please see: http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm.
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests
for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories.
None have." That's "none" as in "zero". Not even your friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie
recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you
can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you
make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass
the recipe on.
4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain
plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY
think this information would reach the public via an AOL chainletter?
5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you
should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning
unless you first confirm that an actual site of an actual company that
actually deals with viruses. Try: http://www.norton.com And even then,
don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing
IM or email, you have to download....ya know, like, a FILE!
6. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any
motorist who flashes headlights at another car driving at night without
lights.
7. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write
email, turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix
shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment
and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us
a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation
message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles
of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months.
It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line.
Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen
it.
9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.)
in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would
like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is
also no longer a "little boy" either.
10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization
doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot
line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good
name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they
do.
11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots
who forwards anything that "promises" something bad will happen if you
"don't," then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you
in a dark alley.
12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and
PBS and NEA funding are still vulnerable to attack (although not at the
present time) but forwarding an e-mail won't help either cause in the least.
If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or
get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. As a general
rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with
any power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining
about.
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something
on the Net is as easy as writing on the walls of a public
restroom. Don't automatically believe it until it's proven false...
ASSUME it's false, unless there is proof that it's true.
Now, forward this message to ten friends and you will win the Publishers
Clearing House sweepstakes.
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