Golden Rules for Ensemble Playing
1]  Everyone should play the same piece.
2]  Stop at every repeat, discuss in detail whether to take the repeat;    the audience will love this.
3]  If you play a wrong note, give a dirty look at one of our partners.
4]  Keep fingering chart handy; you can always catch up with the others.
5]  Take your time, turning the pages.
6]  Tune your instrument carefully. You can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience.
7]  The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note [and vice versa]
8]  If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who got lost.
9]  Strive to get the maximum NPS {notes per second}, and you will get the admiration of the incompetant.
10] The markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed they only embellish the score....
11] If a passage is difficult, slow down; if easy, speed up. It all works out in the end.
12] If you are completely lost, stop everyone else and say: I think we should all tune.
13] Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for theirs is the kingdom of music.
14] If the Ensemble must stop because of you; explain in detail how you became lost. Everyone will be interested.
15] A true interpretation is realized when there remains not one note of the original.
16] When everyone is done playing, you should not play any notes you have remaining. If you have notes leftover, play them on the way home.
17] A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with Authority is an interpretation!

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