I was sitting at the table eating my soup today, mulling over the idea that my 20th birthday is in a couple days and I will no longer be a teenager, when something dawned on me. I am one of the oldest virgins I know.  19 years old, and I still haven't had the good-fortune to get laid. For arguments sake, let's say I'm 20 already. How many people do YOU know that are 20 and haven't had sex yet? Not many I'll bet. Before I go on, let me just specify that I'm not particularly upset over the fact that I'm still a virgin (at the risk of sounding a little prudish, I'm going to wait until I know that I'm ready) but little facts about society that came from this realization ensued. I recently overheard that only 1/4 of first year university students are virgins. I'm not sure if this is right, but if it's even close to correct? One quarter? No wonder we have so many occasions of extremely young mothers in Canada!

    The rate of kids who are non-virgins obviously must increase exponentially at each major interval of one's life. In elementary school, even right up to grade 7 or 8, I would guess that anywhere from 85-100 percent of your class mates are virgins. Once you're in high school, I would guess that number would probably drop to about 60%, and after grad (assuming you go straight to university) it drops to 25%. It has to do with dating, obviously, because dating always leads to sex, in one way or another (not necessarily the physical act, but the idea of sex is there). If you're "dating" you are probably considering having sex with the other person at some point in the future, and  it's entirely likely that this thought has crossed your significant others mind too. Thinking and doing are two entirely different matters, yes, but if you're both thinking of it then the probability of it happening are increased. Am I right?

    I'd like to know what started all of this? And the thing that appals me the most, is that it's getting worse every day. I remember back in grade 5 hearing a few of my classmates were "going out" with others in the class? "Going out" in grade 5?! You can't drive, so going for supper and a movie on your own is out! Most likely you have a curfew of something like 9 PM! What are you going to do? "Hey hunnie, come on over, we can watch Ninja Turtles or play Nintendo! You might be able to stay for supper, but I can't use the stove, so mom and dad will have to make it for us." Okay, I know that many kids in grade 5 can make their own dinners, but I'm trying to illustrate a point here. The level of independence possessed by MOST 5th graders isn't really that high, so these kids should have other things on their mind.

    One day when I was in grade 11 I was helping out at my mother's school, correcting her papers in the library, when these two kids walked in, not really paying attention being all kissy- faced and basically hanging off of each other. They looked like they were in grade 4! What's that all about?  In fourth grade most kids are hardly past the stage where they're running around saying things like "Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Boys/Girls are retarded!" (Well, that was the saying my class was quite fond of).

    I can't help thinking about my class when I did my field last year, in a grade 2/3 class at Wascana School. I'm not saying that any of them were acting like those kids at Mom's school, but you know what seemed to be the most important thing in the world to those little guys? POKEMON! (And don't even get me started on Pokemon, which was strictly invented to make kids insane and beg their parents spend oodles of extra cash on a bunch of different Pokemon things when one thing would suffice, I mean FIVE different games, and you have to buy a special Game-Boy just so that you can import different pokemon from one of the 5 games to another). The point? Should somebody whose life revolves around a little yellow guy who says "Pika!" be dating - and therefore thinking of sex? And since the Pokemon phenomenon probably affects grades 4, 5, maybe even 6 too, well now...

    Scary isn't it? But it's no wonder considering that there's so much sex on tv nowadays. That new show by Aaron Spelling? Cruising the channels one night, I managed to catch glimpses of three or four separate sex scenes in ONE episode! And watching "Days of Our Lives" with Bo and Hope going at it like rabbits all the time. Okay, I realize that these two shows are bad examples. But if I'm watching it, why couldn't some 5th grader whose parents are ignorant of what their kids are watching? Not to mention that sex, although rampant in our society, is still more or less taboo. Hell, picture this. A grade 11 psychology class with a guest speaker from Planned Parenthood. The lady had all the props she needed in terms of contraceptives, including the ever popular "Woody." Naturally, we were all passing old Woody and the condoms around pretty damn fast. The lady, laughing at us pleaded "Oh come on guys, somebody humor me and put a condom on it." Now, in grade 11, in a class of about 25-30 kids, you KNOW that there are at least a few non-virgins in there. But do you think any of them had the nerve to put a condom on that sucker? Not a single soul. Now granted it's a little different putting a condom on an inanimate phallic object in the middle of a group of your peers than in the privacy of your own home, but still, you'd think that at least ONE person would have had the guts to do it.

     I realize that a lot of you non-virgins out there might be thinking "she just doesn't know what she's missing." Well, that's true. I don't. But at the same time, I know that several people who lost their virginity early wish that they had waited. I don't want to go have sex with a guy that I hardly know, or that I even sort of know, and then wake up ten years from now wishing that I had waited for when I met the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can't imagine how that would feel. I know it's sometimes difficult to tell when something is definitely right, but for those elderly virgins out there, like me, you'll know when it's NOT right. And people who say that they just want to get it over with, what's up with that? Why do you have to get it over with? For one thing, you could be saving yourself from a load of diseases that can range from mildly irritating to downright lethal, and for another thing (on the female side at least) it generally hurts like a bitch your first time, especially if you're particularly nervous. If it's someone you really care for and you know that they really care for you too, then you're most likely not going to be as nervous. But if it's someone you're not certain about (I'm not saying that it absolutely HAS to be the person you'll spend the rest of your life with, but do you really want to be worrying to yourself "Ye Gads, I CAN'T believe I actually slept with that person!" after you broke up?), it's more than likely that you're going to be nervous when it happens.

    So for all you elderly virgins out there, I hope you're all still proud that you haven't done the deed yet (unless you're with the person that you KNOW you'll spend the rest of your life with and are completely comfortable with them in all ways - you go!) and ignore the fact that some people look at you as though you just ate your watch or something. Chances are, the person who looks at you that way might be envious.

BACK TO MAIN PAGE