Quotes From Unknown Sources

• "Base 8 is really just like base 10... if you're missing two fingers." 

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• "Everyone pair up in groups of three and line up in a circle!" 

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• "Baseball is wrong. A man with four balls CAN'T walk!" 

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• "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful... Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so." 

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• "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor's cute, screw the fruit!" 

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• "If I wanted your opinion, I would give you the proper forms to fill out." 

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• "Willy Nilly -- [adj.] Impotent."

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• "If 'quitters never win', and 'winners never quit', what fool came up with 'quit while you're ahead'?" 

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• "Veni, Vedi, Visa; I came, I saw, I shopped." 

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• "You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive." 

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• "Clones are people two." 

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• "If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague." 

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• "Last night, I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts." 

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• "What's the speed of dark?" 

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• "Lawyers are disbarred, and clergymen defrocked, therefore it follows that electricians should be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed." 

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• "Confucius say; Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons." Confucius? :)

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• "Trust in God, but lock your car." 

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• "When you're having a bad day, and it seems like someone's trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to bitch slap that motherf&^%(* upside the head." 

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• "I can't decide if life is trying to pass me by or run me over." 

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• "My Karma ran over my Dogma." bumper sticker

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• "MY kid sold drugs to (beat up/ knocked up) your honor student." bumper sticker

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• "How can they call this 'Miss Universe'? No other planets are being represented here!" unknown"

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• Fag-nificent!" unknown

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• "Been there, fucked that, living with the guilt." unknown

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