Random Celebrities/Characters/People
Note: They're here because I didn't have enough quotes from them to
bother with an entire page for them
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"Ich bin ein berliner. [I am a jelly
donut.]" JFK
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"I'm out of it for a little while and
everyone starts having delusions of grandeur!" Han Solo
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"Awesome... Awe-some... I LIKE that
word!" Nigel Short (King's Singers)
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"I think I just 'ad an apostrophe!"
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"I think you mean an epiphany..." Smee
and Captain Hook
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"That's the Louvre... I'll take you
there someday." James Jolicoeur (after having been there all day)
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"You'd think [rock stars] would know
how to throw up... They date models!" Kate (Drew Carey)
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"Time's fun when you're having flies!"
Kermit T. Frog
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"I don't mean to be the materialistic
weasel of the group but... do you think we'll get hazard pay outta this?"
Rockhound (Armageddon)
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"It must be a comfort to know that
if the space program goes under, you'll always have a job at Helga's House
of Pain..." Rockhound
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"This place is like Dr. Seuss' worst
nightmare!" Rockhound
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"You ever heard of Evil Knievel?"
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"No, I've never seen Star Wars."
A.J. and Lev
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"What's the blunt force instrument
of the day?" Lenny Briscoe
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"Psssht. Doctors. I can't believe my
mother wanted me to marry one." Abby Carmichael
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"You know what the secret to fishing
is?"
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"[WHUMP]... I fell..."
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"Less falling." The Labatt's lite polar
bears
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"We're going to the theater to see
Mac Beth. Personally, I think she likes the guys in tights." Sam Wheat
(Ghost)
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"We're back with the Emmy awards! All
the laughs and the tears and the length of a telethon, only we're not helping
anyone." David Hyde Pierce (host of 1999 Emmys)
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"I now pronounce you drunk and disorderly.
You may now kiss... my ass." Lewis (Drew Carey Show)
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On a Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
"Warning: Product will be hot after heating."
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On a Korean Kitchen Knife "Warning:
Keep out of children."
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On a Swedish Chain saw "Warning: Do
not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals."
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"Two
thongs don't make a tights." Colin Mochrie
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"Cross country skiing is kinda like
downhill, with the fun removed." Red Green
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(While getting a tattoo of a gemini
award) "I won't tell you where I put my Juno [award]!" Mr. Dressup
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"And the Jedi I admire the most, met
up with Darth Maul, now he's toast. And I'm still here but he's a ghost..."
Weird Al (the Saga Begins)
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"If you tell him [that we tricked him],
I will spank you. I will spank you like a bad bad donkey!" Pepe
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"You put the FISH in Superficial!"
John Cage (on Ally McBeal, not the composer :) )
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"'USA Today' has come out with a new
survey: Apparently, 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population." David
Letterman
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"Look Mom, it's Superman!"
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"No son, it's just a low-flying vampire."
Lana G.
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"It's a dog-eat-dog world out there,
and I'm wearing milk-bone underwear." Norm (Cheers)
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"Oh, you never see a vampire with a
full grown beard, yet a vampire can't see its reflection. So no facial
hair is unbelievably weird, cause you'd think shaving'd be out of the question."
Red Green
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On a ski lift in Taos N.M. "No jumping
from ski lift. Survivors will be prosecuted."
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"Lemme ask you a question, do you have
a reach-out-and-SMACK-someone program?" Greg Montgomery
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"Curtis! I had a nightmare last night!
I was talking to you on the phone about Full House for some reason,
next thing I know, the whole TANNER family was in my kitchen!!!" Moi
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"You know Ned and Ted's excellent adventure?"
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"... NED and Ted?...?!" Cara and me.
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"... That's still not as far as I had
to walk..."
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"Yeah yeah, I've heard it before...
20 miles, barefoot in snow up to your waist, uphill both ways." Mom and
me
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"You fell like smish water... ... ?"
Moi
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"... Find out why that little latin
boy in drag is crying..."
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"Little latin boy in drag... Why are
you crying?" Vida Boheme and Noxeema Jackson (To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything,
Julie Newmar)
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"Not on your young QUEER life. You
and your causes!" Noxeema
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"I do not do the bus. You obviously
have me mistaken for miss Rosa Parks." Noxeema
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"Internal Combustion: The Ultimate
Accessory." Vida
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"When a gay man has far too much fashion
sense for one gender, he IS... a drag queen." Noxeema
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"I think maybe he's prejudiced..."
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"... I bet you were the brightest in
your class, weren't you?" Chi Chi Rodriguez and Noxeema
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"What's that?"
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"It's a bathing suit silly!"
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"I thought it was an eye patch!" Quinn,
Angelica and Frank (6 days, 7 nights)
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"I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm
having a bit of a problem."
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"What problem?"
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"Some sort of creature has just swum
up my pants!" Quinn and Robyn
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"No! You wouldn't [kill them]. [Peacocks]
are magnificent creatures!"
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"And I hear they taste just like chicken!"
Robyn and Quinn
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"I'm sorry."
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"For kissing me?"
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"No... for this... [PUSH]
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"(AAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhh.......[splash])"
Quinn and Robyn
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"I thought that's what women wanted...
a guy who's not afraid to cry, in touch with his feminine side..."
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"Not when they're being chased by pirates,
then they like em mean, and ARMED!" Quinn and Robyn
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"How can I eat? I'm scum! I'm garbage!
This experience has tested me and revealed no traces of character whatsoever!"
Frank
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"Father, please forgive me for I have
sinned! I've been bad, VERY BAD!" Frank
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"Oh boy..." Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap)
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"Why are you supposed to put your head
between your knees in a plane crash? Cause it makes it easier to kiss your
butt good bye!" (Sam said something like that once, but I don't remember
exactly what it was.
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"Your mother was afraid of cats!" Al
Calavicci to a german shepherd
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"Hey, I'm not into necrophelia."
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"Finally, something sexual he's NOT
into." Al Calavicci and Sam Beckett
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"Right [the duck and cover method]
teaches them that ducking under a picnic blanket does wonders against atom
bombs." Sam Beckett to Al Calavicci
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