{Star Wars}Han Solo = I'm out of it for a little while and everyone starts having delusions of grandeur!

{Hook}Smee = I think I just 'ad an apostrophe!
Cpt. Hook = I think you mean an epiphany

{Armageddon}Rockhound = this place is like Dr. Seuss' worst nightmare!

{Muppets from Space}Pepe = if you tell him, I will spank you. I will spank you like a bad bad donkey!

{To Wong Foo . . .} Noxeema Jackson = I do not do the bus. you obviously have me mistaken for miss Rosa Parks

{6 Days, 7 Nights}Robyn = I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm having a bit of a problem
Quinn = what problem?
Robyn = some sort of creature has just swum up my pants!

{Clueless} Cher = so like, right now, for example, the Haitians need to come to America. but some people are all 'what about the strain on our ressources?' well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday. I put 'rsvp' cause it was a sit-down dinner. but some people came that like did not rsvp. I was totally buggin'! I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, squish in extra place settings, but by the end of the day it was like, the more the merrier. and so if the government could just get to the kitchen and rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. and in conclusion, may I please remind you that it does not say rsvp on the statue of liberty! / so okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew! - and cover it up with a backwards cap and we're supposed to swoon? I don't think so!

{City Slickers}Mitch = rollin rollin rollin, keep those doggies rollin, man my ass is swollen, rawhide! get em up, move em out, wake em up, get em dressed, get em shaved comb de hair rawhide! tie me down, tell me lies, comb my hair, smack my thighs with a big wet strap of rawhide!

{Shot in the Face}The Bank Robber = I got 6 bullets here and 4 faces, that makes 4 . . . bullets, and... <sputter> a couple more!! Now who wants some?!

{Shot in the Face}Don (?) (with a thick accent) = Well excuse him Misterr Tight Pants with no underwearrr. You can take yer 50¢ shoes and yer shite-lookin' workin' man's haircut and bend ovah, so I can shove 6 pencils into yer ass. 'Ow'd you like that? F*ck you!

{American Psycho}Patrick Bateman = Harold, you're my lawyer so I think you should know, I've killed quite a few people...

{A Fish Called Wanda}Wanda (to Otto) = To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!!! I've known SHEEP who could outwit you!

{Ed Wood}B. Lugosi = This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in!

{Ed Wood}Ed = Transvestites! I need transvestites!

{Something More}Sam = To them, the grass is always greener on the other side, but they forget that this side's covered in dog shit.

{MiB}Zed = We are *not* hosting an intergalactic kegger down here!

{MiB}Kay = No ma'am, we at the FBI do not have a sense of humour that we're aware of. May we come in?

{Batman Forever}The Riddler = Joygasm!

{The Road to Eldorado}Miguel and Tulio = Did you ever imagine it would end like this? / The horse is a bit of a surprise.

{That Thing You Do!}Lenny = There he goes, off to his room, to write that hit song 'Alone In My Principles'.

{Suicide Kings}Ira = Why is this man here? Why is he taped to my father's favourite chair?

{3 to Tango}Peter = Oscar's omni-sexual. He swings every-which-way.

{3 to Tango}Oscar Novak = I think it's time for me to come out of the closet. I'm *not* gay.

{3 to Tango}Peter = Don't make me make you my prison bitch.

{The World is Not Enough}R (Q #2) = Ah yes, the legendary 007 wit... or at least ½ of it...

{Ferris Bueller's Day Off} Singing Telegram = I heard that you were feeling ill/headache, fever, and a chill/I've come to help restore your pluck/cause I'm the nurse who likes to *DOOR SLAM*

{End of Days}Satan = Let me tell you something about Him. He is the biggest underachiever of all time. He just has a good publicist, that's all.

The Grinch = Oh the Who-manity! / And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast! They eat theis Who-pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast! But there's something I just cannot stand in the least . . .Oh No! I'm speaking in RHYME!

{Dogma}The Metatron = Anyone who isn't dead or of another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears, right about . . . Now. / One of the drawbacks of being a martyr is that you have to die.

{Mallrats}Brody = The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom, but, that would kill him. / What kind of man are you? I'm talking about comics and you bring up chicks and romance? / I woulda been a sexy chick!

{Mallrats}T.S. = Would you two testosterone seething he-man comic book fans finish up with this display of tough guy back and fourth, I've got some questions I need answered!

{Mystery Men}Mr. Furious = Don't mess with a volcano my man, cause I will go *Pompeii* on your . . . butt. / [what's he doing?] He's either very smart or very dumb . . . / I would love to ask you out, but if I don't call you, I just want you to know, it's cause I'm dead.

{Mystery Men}The Blue Rajah = Mom! You're cheesing me off so bad right now! / I say what the fork, let's do it! / What WILL the bridge club think?

{Mystery Men}The Bowler = He come home drunk one night and fell down an elevator shaft . . . onto some bullets. / Maybe you should put some shorts on, or something, if you'd like to continue fighting evil today.

{Mystery Men}The Sphinx = To beat him, you will need more than forks and flatulence.

{8mm}Max California [to a porn store customer] = Hey! It's like a gas station! You pay BEFORE you pump!